feeling up, feeling down


It’s only January and already I’m experiencing the rollercoaster effect.

Beaming: “I’m fabulous and doing great!”

[2 hours later]

Bemoaning: “No one wants my stuff…I’ll never make more money…”

We all go through this. It’s just beautiful to be this fragile and vulnerable. It reminds me that I care and love so deeply for that little frightened child inside me. And inside you.

So, now I have to come clean with what I want – maybe it’s something that my little inner girl always wanted and couldn’t get enough of. Nourishing-Love-Attention-Bravery-Compliments-Coddling-Cuddling. And Adventure. Lots of it.

I get those things now, in spades.

What does the little girl desire once she grows up?

Went to Hiro Boga’s website and spotted her Deva Cards section. I’m a divination junkie, dontcha know.

There’s a little box that says “Intention” ~ here’s what I typed in:

I long to have a beautiful, adventurous life, spending time with my daughter and husband, going to the sacred sites all over the world and have 1 million dollars in the bank. to give to charity, to purchase our land and build our dream home and retreat center. to help our friends and family.

The card I picked : Attunement.

Attunement defined = bringing into harmony with.

Something to ponder as I’m lying at the foot of my daughter’s bed. She’s asleep.

The peace is opening me up and making me a wee bit drowsy.

I’m going to imagine that she, my husband and I are a gorgeous, affluent family, traveling the world, having a splendid time. So carefree. That is my most beloved day/dream. Right. Now. I am. Ready.

And, what I know is that the Divine Creatrix hears all prayers. She knows how much I give, she knows what I hold back, and she knows my pure intentions and my darkest fears.

Freedom is what I crave.