Turning within this week. No more reading other’s blog posts and time to research my own soul. Allow my voice to find it’s way to the surface. If we constantly bombard ourselves with the ideas of others we’ll have a lot of trouble figuring out what it is we want to say.
How we say things is obviously what makes our words our own.
So this week I’m saying a temporary (thank Goddess!) farewell to Danielle LaPorte, Michelle Ward and the Clubhouse, Avalon Mystery School, Invincible Summer Writing group, Marie Forleo, Tanya Geisler, Leonie Dawson and all other esteemed writers out there.
To all of you: Your words are delicious and a balm to my soul. But need to figure out what’s in me trying to be born.
I notice that there is a pressure-like feeling. I remember giving birth to Saraphina on August 7, 2008 and the pushing and laboring giving way to this amazing bundle of joy, creativity and Goddessence.
Perfection. Beauty. Luminosity.
The moment when Saraphina was born the room became brighter. I distinctly remember. I hoped I would never forget.
This is recorded for all posterity. No one will forget.
Birthing my voice and a piece of my identity, is bringing my soul out into the world in a deeper way. I’m allowing this voice to have its way. To express its frustration, anger and disappointment along with the joys and triumphs.
This is authenticity.
Working on my memoir and wondering how it will come together. My story feels amorphous and protean. Like the sea god Proteus himself that Odysseus holds on to gain his knowledge. Proteus transforms and shapeshifts, but Odysseus can’t let go or else the wisdom will be lost forever.
As I’m finding my voice I feel like I’m wrestling with Proteus.
This is not easy stuff.
The gurus say, “Doing what you love should be easy.”
I say that this isn’t possible until you’ve wrestled Truth, Integrity and Insanity. Part of the healing of this age is finding out what the Soul is yearning to express. And, since so many of us are writing about the same thing, this is a collective exercise. A cooperative. The collective unconscious exists and we need only look at the wayfarers journeying beside us to see how true this is.
So, my journey this week includes a dive into my Soul. And, a media-free diet. No books either. A lot of meditation, writing, ocean visits, mantras, inner world journeying and allowing.
Except today because I’m taking Saraphina to see Madagascar 3. But after that I’m going into Silence to experience my own shapehifting Soul awaiting rebirth.
Until next week,
Emerging and stretching and growing.